For a planet which is ‘just’ 4.5 billion years old, our Earth is in quite a remarkable shape. 4.5 billion years is a long time, so long that we didn’t even bother to count the zeroes! The planet which had been home to many species once is now being dominated by one.
Humans have been leaving their footprints for quite some time. Yet in the grand scheme of things, our 80-100 years lifespan seems as tiny as the memory of a goldfish. But that doesn’t mean we never left our traces. So today we at WittyFeed would like to tell you about the 13 oldest objects ever found on our planet Earth.
Take a look…
Oldest Sunglasses – 800 Years
We’re sorry to say that Snapchat and cell phones weren’t available back then so that people could pose wearing sunglasses, captioning the photo as ‘sunkissed’. Nevertheless, the oldest sunglasses are believed to be 800-year-old and were found in Canada. The reason people resorted to using them was to protect their eyes from the sun during winter times when sunlight is at its peak. Quite cheeky, eh.
Oldest Gum – 5,000 Years
You thought chewing gum was a modern fad? Think again. In 2007, a British Student discovered a 5000-year-old chewing gum while digging in Finland and upon further research, it was found that Neolithic people used it as an antiseptic. How’s that for bursting a bubble? Okay no more puns, we’ll stop.
Oldest Leather Footwear – 5,500 Years Old
Oh yeah, if you enjoy Vogue and Victoria’s Secret models walking gingerly on their fancy footwear and sometimes slipping on stage, this one’s for you. In 2010, a 5500-year-old leather shoe was found which was ‘astonishingly modern’ according to scientists and racks up size 7 according to modern scales. Although it looks modern, we doubt anyone would be advocating the use of them in Milan fashion week. Ciao.
Oldest Masks – 9,000 Years
While there were masked men back then too, we doubt there used to be any Batman back then. Nevertheless, the oldest mask is an astonishingly 9000-year-old mask found in Israel’s Judean Hills. The masks were made from chalk and limestone and surprisingly looked quite good! Your move, Joker.
Oldest Swiss Army knife – 1,800 Years
Technically we cannot call it a Swiss Army knife as it preceded the creation of Swiss Army knife but you got the gist, didn’t you? So the oldest Swiss Army knife is believed to be from the Roman Empire around 200 ADand was more useful for culinary purposes rather than splitting someone’s guts open and stabbing them 23 times. Et Tu Swiss Army?
Oldest Prosthesis – 3,000 Years
Egyptians are very crafty people; ask Mohamed Salah all about it. Coming back to the topic, the oldest prosthetic dates back to around 3,000 years ago and till date, no other object of that kind has been found! Kudos for creativity.
Oldest therapeutic dental work – 6,500 Years
In case you had any apprehensions, medical science was quite crafty back then too! The above photo portrays a tooth and it’s cavities have been repaired by using beeswax. The tooth is believed to be 6,500 years old and belongs to Neolithic era.
Oldest dental work – 13,000 Years
You think since oldest therapeutic dental work is around 6,500 years old, the oldest dental work would be around that too, right? Wrong, in fact, it’s twice as old as the tooth found. The oldest dental work dates more than 13,000 years when it was found a young man’s teeth was drilled out. We hope they did use some technique of pain relief back then too.
Oldest Hymn – 3,500 Years
Before there was Coldplay making us dance to their hymn, or Billie Joe Armstrong shouting ‘When I Come Around’, before there was Michael Jackson making us dance to ‘Thriller’ or Queen making us singalong to ‘We Are The Champions’, were these music clay tablets. How old? Well, just 3,500 years old, considering there wasn’t any autotune back then, it still sounds quite spectacular.
Oldest flushing toilets
Toilets are something we are so used to taking for granted that we fail to realize that they have a quite rich history. Let’s not get into the details and let us tell you that the first ever toilets which as we shall euphemize it “get’s rid of dirty business” belonged to the ancient city of Ephesus. The public toilets had 36 holes, having running water underneath them to take the latrines out in some masochist Greek style.
Oldest Sex Toys – 28,000 Years
What shall we say, when there’s a will, there’s a way, and the way has been present for 28,000 years! German scientists surely would’ve had their fingers tickled when they found this 28,000-year-old dildo. So there’s concrete evidence that men couldn’t satisfy their women for at least the better part of 28,000 years! Learn some foreplay, will you?
Oldest Socks – 1,600 Years
Although we won’t be starting alien conspiracy theories right now? We must admit these socks doesn’t look like they belong to a normal human. Perhaps only Shaquille O’Neal could fit into these. The socks are believed to be 1,600 years ago and to be honest, not very aesthetic.
Oldest Mineral ever – 4.4 Billion Years
The oldest mineral ever to be uncovered is this Zircon crystal which is 4.4 billion years old! Considering our planet is just 4.5 billion years old, the age of this Zircon crystal is astonishing.
Note: The list isn’t in chronological order, it’s a documentation of the oldest objects.
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